Leftovers 10-1-14

Alright, let's get right into it because you and I both have some Smash Brothers to play.


Edge of Spider-Verse 4

In an alternate universe, a creepy kid named Patton Parnel gets bitten by a radioactive spider and it begins to turn him into something close to a living spider. Patton begins to eat people, starting with his bully Gene and his Uncle Ted before really just uncorking and going for everyone, including his beloved next-door neighbor Sara Jane. Before he can capture Sara Jane, Morlun shows up and finishes him, though all is not well for Sara Jane, who has a number of spider eggs in her from a bite she sustained. Creepy twist on the Peter Parker origin story here as EDGE OF SPIDER-VERSE gets a horror comic entry. It's certainly readable though the connections between this world and the 616 are almost distracting. Writer Clay Chapman clearly chose these names for a reason, he's not shy about telling us that this is meant to be similar, but it does border on over-repetitive, a forced wink and nod. Total Score: 3/5



Fantastic Four Annual 1
Sue goes to Latveria to get Val back but Val wants to stay and Sue freaks out and attacks Doom, who reveals that someone else is in her head and Val stops Sue before she can kill Doom and I still do not care one bit about this book. I really don't like any of these characters and again, the exposition here is just SO HEAVY (and not like Marty McFly's "heavy"). It's unbelievable and clunky and obnoxious. I also like Val in certain scenarios but you really have to balance out the genius with the child thing for me, you can't just have a precocious "spouting exposition" and "using big/formal words" child to illustrate who she is. I know that Sue has something going on in her head right now, but it's still such a terrible rendering of this character, a character that I just don't have any interest in reading, regardless of what's in her head. Total Score: 1/5

Guardians 3000 1
The Guardians of the Galaxy in the year 3000 (or 3014, to be exact) are under attack from the Badoon. The Guardians are Vance Astro, Charlie-27, Martinex, Yondu, and Starhawk and they have a refugee, named Geena Drake, from a Badoon camp in tow. They had met up with other powerful space entities fighting the Badoon in what was supposed to be a safe place, but they were ambushed and everyone died. However, there are issues with time right now and Geena seems to be a key to it. She wakes up 30 minutes before they all die trying to escape and she begins to remember, eventually picking up a gun and fighting back. Groundhog Day (the more popular reference) or Edge of Tomorrow (perhaps the more applicable reference), whatever you want to call it, that's happening. It's mixed in with a ton of exposition as if this is the only issue this creative team is going to get and they have to get everything out now. The only reason to believe maybe they have more time than they're letting on is that they won't stop saying made-up words and I get that we're a thousand years in the future and language changes but COME ON, STOP WITH MADE-UP WORDS. I really do not like them. They're always distracting and clumsy and obnoxious. Seriously, it drags the book down and slows the pacing badly, even when the exposition does that plenty. Total Score: 2/5

Legendary Star-Lord 4
Okay, we gotta speed things up again. Star-Lord tracks Thanos to the moon and wants to kill him, what with his guilt about letting him get back into the universe. The Mandalay Gem gets him to a point where he can kill Thanos but he won't do it because it would possibly blow up the moon and then the Earth would be in some real trouble. Meanwhile, Kitty's mad at him but he wins her over again, SOMEHOW, and Mr. Knife wants to steal a powerful artifact. It's hard to get on board with the cast of this book and this one just serves as another of the multitudinous books where I'm beginning not to like Kitty Pryde, who freaks out when Peter travels near Earth and won't see her (irrational and weirdly needy in their line of work) and then forgives him when he GOES TO EARTH AND LEAVES A MESSAGE FOR HER OUTSIDE OF HER PLACE BUT CONTINUES NOT TO SEE HER. There are things happening in this book but it's hard to really care about them if you don't care about the people involved in said things. And I don't right now. Total Score: 2/5

Moon Knight 8

There's a hostage situation in a building in New York and Moon Knight goes to put an end to it. He alternates between his three personalities, all of whom have a very specific way of dealing with problems, and eventually he ends up killing the hostage-taker, only to learn from the news later that the bomb the purported terrorist had was his company's agricultural accelerant that, though harmful, wouldn't have killed his hostages. Now, thanks to news reports of his brutal dealings, Moon Knight has been revealed and exposed as a brutal vigilante, all according to Knight's doctor's plan. There is a lot of interesting stuff here, particularly the multiple personalities we see and another look at Khonshu, but the overall pacing is a little slow here. It's a different sort of layout, almost meant to read more as a picture book than a comic, with dialogue (occasionally ambiguous as to who said it) and narration printed neatly on the sides of smaller panels. Although it's a kind of neat look, it doesn't quite hide the fact that there's a lot of pace-slowing explanation and prose there. Still pretty strong stuff and it's clear with his second issue on the series that Wood is intent on following Ellis' tone for the strong series. Total Score: 4/5

Silver Surfer 6
After a series of requests that try Surfer's patience, Dawn demands they get the best ice cream in the universe, leading them to Planet Prime, a planet where perfection reigns and everyone is the best there is at what they do and what they do is a very specific task, such as Banker One or Tour Guide One or Street Sweeper One. Their actions on the planet inevitably lead to Warrior One, the most perfect warrior, to attack Surfer. He struggles under the might of the warrior, nearly losing the fight, before Dawn tells him to simply remove the Warrior's badge, promoting Warrior Two to his spot and calming things as the new Warrior One calls for an end to the fight, but leading the new Warrior Zero to swear his revenge. As ever, the book strives to be fun and light and mostly hits, occasionally going a little far in one direction or another. It's hard not to draw certain comparisons to Doctor Who, as we have an extremely powerful and knowledgeable alien leading an Earthgirl around on a series of adventures but these issues are self-contained, typically, small anecdotes from a larger story and with very little ongoing drama. The smartest thing about this book is the inclusion of Michael and Laura Allred, whose art and colors grant this book the energy that they'd probably be lacking with anyone else. It's such a specific tone for this book and the Allreds make sure to convey that tone in everything they do. Total Score: 4/5

Spider-Man 2099 4

Scorpion, with a legion of Spider-Slayers at his disposal, is dead set on killing Spider-Man 2099, who he believes to be regular-type Spider-Man. He's succeeding until Miguel gives them the slip just long enough to have his computer Lyla turn on his regular clothes hologram. With no spiders to target, Scorpion begins to threaten the civilians around, believing Spidey won't let them die. Miguel tosses Lyla on to Scorpion's back with direction to hologram him up to look like Spider-Man. The Spider-Slayers attack him and he only barely survives, destroying them in the process. Meanwhile, Tiberius' captor dies saving him from the collapsing building, causing him to have a change of heart and not sell the Slayers to the warlord dictator, even going so far as to oust him with his own legion of Slayers. It's a very strong issue out of this young book, one that moves pretty well and finds Miguel using his smarts and his skills to win the day in classic Spider-Man fashion. The art is strong and the tone is right where it needs to be. I'll be interested to see if this book can fit in with EDGE OF SPIDER-VERSE, where it's headed next. Total Score: 5/5

X-Men 20
The mystery deepens as hunters return to their original ship, forcing Rachel, Monet, and Psylocke to take them all down. They discover security footage in the ship and learn about Sharada Darthri, a being who seems intent on creating and cultivating new life, even if it's at the expense of old life (this may be a little vague and/or wrong because they still haven't actually figured out her intents), which is why she's so interested in the Shi'ar/Kree/mutant child of Deathbird. Under Darthri's command is SWORD's Manifold Tyger, who is directed to kill everyone at the Peak. He attacked Storm already and now aims to take out Cecilia Reyes. It's an interesting story so far, even if it's a little tough to follow, and the writing continues to be pretty strong here, though there are maybe a few too many asides and interjections. I'll be interested to rate this one a little more thoroughly once we've seen it all and once the plot is cleared up a bit more. Pretty strong stuff though otherwise. Total Score: 4/5