All-New X-Men 30, Amazing X-Men 10, X-Men 18

All-New X-Men 30
Bendis (w) and Pichelli (a) and Gracia (c) and Petit (l)

X-23 and Angel escaped all the drama to go on a date and spend the night in one of Warren's rich person apartments and Laura admits to not remembering much of the last night and does NO ONE find this a really, really creepy story? It can't just be me, right? I don't pick up on things all that easily and so feeling really creeped out by this scene must make it pretty obvious, right? Okay, anyway, Emma wants to train Jean but there's prolonged bad blood between them because they both keep failing the Bechdel test and I think they're trying to figure out who fails it harder? That's the takeaway, I think. Anyway, they end up bonding? Is there a person who cares about this?

Okay, look, I'll be the first to admit I'm in a bad mood today but I read this comic last night, when I was in a mildly better mood (until after I read the comic). I tried working out all the "benefit of a doubt" ways to talk about this issue but the bad mood has ensured those have all gone out the window. I'll still start it the same way: I know that I tend to badmouth Brian Michael Bendis on this blog a lot because I don't really care for his style and I think his characters, save a couple, are fairly weak. I have no real desire to badmouth him. I do believe there are reviewers and critics out there who legitimately enjoy the mean part of the job or the controversy of attacking well-liked writers/directors/actors/whatever. I am most definitely not one of those people so I hate coming off attacky at anyone, but especially Bendis who is clearly well-liked and well-regarded (he's gone from a couple of prime AVENGERS titles to a couple of prime X-MEN titles, not to mention all his other past books). THAT SAID, I absolutely hate this series and I really, really hate this issue. I talked a lot above about the strange and terrible women in this issue but that didn't even talk about Kitty's weird relationship or scratch the surface of how poorly written and out of character I think Laura was or REALLY about how uncomfortable the idea that Laura couldn't really remember the night before and woke up in one of Warren's homes with him shirtless and had to have Warren describe the night for her. I'm REALLY uncomfortable about that. Let's not forget, too, that this is the second issue since Laura's joined up with the team (not that long ago) where a cover has featured her making out on a dude, which seems both wrong and odd. And I get that Emma and Jean have this built-in sexist rivalry between them in their history but wouldn't it be a thousand times more interesting if they had some other thing to talk about? Other than ol' just-right porridge Scott Summers? They're two of the most powerful telepaths ever (despite Emma's current situation) and they go to train and they're like "HEY, LET'S CONTINUE COMPETING OVER SCOTT" and then they spend some time locked in each other's minds and just stand up laughing together because, as one of the Stepfords puts it, they've bonded. I want to complain about how incredibly lazy it is to just have two psychics stare at each other for a panel and then come out going "we're pals now!" but I'd have actually accepted a completely silent issue with Pichelli art because I think it'd be far stronger than this.

Total Score: 1/5


Amazing X-Men 10
Kyle and Yost (w) and Barberi and Coello (p) and Wong and Coello (i) and Rosenberg (c) and Caramagna (l)

Wolverine (and much of Canada) has been transformed into a Wendigo and the X-Men are having some trouble dealing with these problems. They keep whacking Wolverendigo away while they plot and Alpha Flight shows up and everybody jokes around a bit while the Avengers watch the border (plus side, the curse doesn't extend beyond Canadian borders) and they need to bring the injured Talisman to a very specific place that leads to the spirit realm but when they take her there they find it's also full o' Wendigos. Maybe this isn't the time for jokes, Bobby?

There is something of a strange tonal shift in this issue as the plight of the Wendigo suddenly becomes a little less serious with all these pals coming together and having a good time. I'll be honest, I think if this is the tone you set up in the first issue or two of this arc then it totally works. But where the first issue or two of this arc had a really serious tone, this one doesn't quite stick the landing. Some of the dialogue and jokes aren't bad and, if it were maybe a little more sparse, I think there's a way this could hit a little better. Instead, it feels out of place and oddly unsympathetic. Seriously Rockslide, pull yourself together. This is why no one brings you to any of the fights or uses you in any of these books.

Total Score: 3/5


X-Men 18
Guggenheim (w) and Tolibao (p) and Tadeo and Yeung (i) and Mounts (c) and Caramagna (l)

The X-Men are fighting an airborne AIM virus by burning it out of the air when Abigail Brand calls them to request their presence. A not-dead/not-paralyzed but certainly comatose Deathbird has suddenly turned up in orbit and Brand isn't sure why and wants a team of 3/5 psychics, particularly ones with experience with Deathbird (who happens to be Rachel Grey's aunt by marriage) and the Kree, to check the situation out. She's also called in Cecilia Reyes to examine Deathbird. The whole thing, though, is interrupted when Sidrian Hunters attack the Peak, coming for Deathbird or, as Cecilia reveals, Deathbird's unborn child.

There are some interesting moments here and Guggenheim has a pretty good feel for the humor he wants to bring to the team. Sometimes, though, it overloads a little and the dialogue ends up slowing a bit more than you'd like, taking something away from the action and the story itself. Good dialogue, particularly good funny dialogue, should never really feel like a slog and while Guggenheim certainly  isn't writing poorly, parts of the issue start to drag. Still not a bad issue and it left me interested where the story would go.

All-New X-Men 28, Uncanny X-Men Special 1

<Quick note at the top here: I know I've already said I'm going down to speed rounds as the main review style for now as things in my life get a bit busier but then, as always happens, I've ended up summarizing and breaking down every part of the book almost immediately. So here's the new attempt - I'm going to really speed up my summaries and hope that my analysis section, while obviously longer, will be shortened by how ridiculous it looks next to such a short summary paragraph>

All-New X-Men 28
Bendis (w) and S. Immonen (p) and Von Grawbadger (i) and Gracia (c) and Petit (l)

The future's Brotherhood is still attacking the ANXM with a battle plan this time that revolves around their last defeat, thanks to time travel. Members of their group are maybe not 100% on board with this but they're all being puppet'd by Xavier. Jean Grey uses her newfound power to hold people in place to hold Xavier, launching the immense psychic attack on the school, while X-23 dives at him.

I think the things that could be interesting about this series are dictated by whether or not you think the concept holds up. If you're totally onboard with the time-traveling X-Men stuck in the future and gaining new powers through shaky explanations and new alliances through shaky justifications, then I can see there being interest in a story that similarly bends the timeline and aligns people who maybe wouldn't align themselves and that's explained away by Raze saying that the mutant timeline is already so screwed up that it probably doesn't matter how often they go back in time to mess with things. I think I've said this before, even going so far as to using this same analogy before (possibly because I'm uncreative and possibly because once you've spent any amount of time grading high schoolers' papers you start to see this major flaw almost immediately), but it's like reading an essay where you don't buy the thesis or, worse still, where there is no clear thesis. Everything you write afterwards will fail to hold up because it's all just information and evidence that won't prove anything because there's nothing there to prove. Setting aside those issues, the book moves well enough and the colors and art help to accentuate the tension of the issue (though it wouldn't be so bad to break away from the reds and blacks for a little bit soon).

Total Score: 3/5


Uncanny X-Men Special 1
S. Ryan (w) and Ackins (p) and N. Lee, Poggi, and Pallot (i) and Redmond (c) and Cowles (l)

Scott's team stumbles across old pictures of Magik and are shocked to see how happy and young she looked. Then they're whisked away on flight training with Scott, where they're shot out of the sky and Scott is captured by Death's Head leaving the kids to try to figure out, along with the called-in Magik and Emma Frost, how to track a mercenary they can't even identify. Irma and Benjamin are sent to infiltrate SWORD as new recruits to figure out who the merc is and Benjamin runs afoul in his search of Iron Man, who identifies Death's Head and offers to help.

There are maybe a few incongruous plot points here, things that don't totally make sense or that don't link particularly well, but overall the book (part one of three, it claims) reads fairly well. Cyclops is taken to a man actually looking for Havok which leads to some interesting questions and decisions, Iron Man's involvement with a group he doesn't yet know is actually Scott's X-Men is a possibly fun touch, and the promise of Nova having something to do with this (per the cover) is a similarly interesting touch. Can't help noticing that the Death's Head in this issue looks rather like the original Death's Head and Tony's had dealings with Death's Head II in recent days but that's just nitpicky. Still a fairly fun book with a team that has some amount of potential, however it's meant to be used.

Total Score: 4/5

All-New X-Men 26, X-Force 4

All-New X-Men 26
Bendis (w) and S. Immonen (p) and Von Grawbadger (i) and Gracia (c) and Petit (l)

Regular age Scott goes to console Jean after she has a nightmare wherein she destroys her team with the Phoenix Force. After a talk that gets a little weird but that Scott pretty firmly shuts down before telling Jean that Emma will be working with her to control her powers, Scott is rebuked by Kitty for being alone in a room with Jean. Later, X-23 decides to leave, setting out before anyone can stop her. She comes across Angel, out for a morning fly, and reveals that she's leaving because young Scott didn't say goodbye before he left. She storms off but runs across someone posing to be young Scott who attacks her. She crawls back to the Xavier School claiming that someone here must be a shapeshifter as the bad future X-Men from BATTLE OF THE ATOM walk away.

Story
Young Scott is gone, Jean is interested in old Scott, and Kitty is mad. The issue ends with the cliffhanger ending promising some story coming but for now, most of this issue is dedicated to minor story advancements and characterization. There's also growing concern for both Hank McCoys out there as young Hank tries to piece everything together and as Scott worries for older Hank given the state of his recent failures (bringing the young X-Men here and not being able to send them back). On the heels of a few little crossover events, this issue serves to slow things down a bit, which is occasionally necessary. 3/5

Character
I'm pretty thoroughly on record talking about my feelings about this book and about the young X-Men's return. I think the stories haven't been compelling enough to justify the massive shift in...well, everything and I don't think the writing has been strong enough to really drive this book to any new territory. However, it's the characters that I'm hating the most. On top of the back-and-forth dialogue, many of these characters have come off as simply obnoxious, starting with the always-talking Bobby, moving to the ever-bland Scott, and dragging down the suddenly intolerable Jean Grey and the all-over-the-place Kitty Pryde. It's made it hard for me to like any of these characters and I can't care about their problems if I don't like them. In fact, I rather hate the people who have been the big focuses so far (particularly Kitty and Jean, which is especially hard because I really like Kitty normally and I am, at worst, ambivalent about Jean). This issue does no better, concerning itself some more with romances and sniping. 1/5

Writing
Plenty of back-and-forth here which starts to grate but it makes more sense here, in something of a resting story issue than in the midst of combat or tense situations. I have less trouble buying this type of dialogue when it's in this sort of situation because there's a little more time to let these conversations happen. I still find it grating after some time (it happens pretty quickly in the Scott-Jean talk but it's okay later except that Bobby is a moron and that gets a little hard to keep following) but it's at least more applicable here. 3/5

Art
I like Stuart Immonen's art plenty. I like the way he draws these characters and I like the ways they express themselves. There are a couple of double-page spreads in here that I don't quite understand because nothing particularly drastic happens in the page. It just feels a little like they have to fill a DPS quota on this book and so they can come in anywhere. Still, not bad art overall. 4/5

Miscellaneous
Judging the character of this book in this new scale is very difficult for me because I actually have to think about why I'm feeling what I'm feeling (which isn't new to a lot of my reviews) but more than that, I have to consider whether to grade the characters based on I find them, based on their long history, or based on whether they fit into what Bendis has already written in this series. For all intents and purposes, these are his characters right now and so he's writing them mostly consistently to his vision for them. Can I grade harshly if he's being consistent? I, as you saw, decided that yes, I can. I'm all for writers changing things about characters. I get it. It's been a while since these characters were created. Times change, stories change, characters need to change too. What I'm less okay with is little personality changes here and there that don't fit with their pasts and also seem to have been borne of nothing. In this case, the fact that Kitty has become intolerable as the leader of this young team could be because she's taken on a new responsibility and she needs to put on her teacher voice, as it were. But it doesn't really come off that way; instead, it comes off feeling like she's just crappy to everyone. I'm happy to judge things like this harshly.

Total score: 2/5


X-Force 4
Spurrier (w) and Molina (a and c) and Sabino (l)

X-Force is after a French superpowered guy named Le Necrogateur, a character who has the ability to read the minds of dead people. It's a useful little trait and it's one that's particularly necessary for the team now as they try to figure out what information the now-dead Antonio Aggasiz had on Volga. Fantomex leads the charge to try to lure Le Necrogateur out using another superpowered person (don't know if these guys are heroes, villains, mutants, etc. so it's hard to label more specifically) named Anaïs who has the ability to talk to cats and more catlike abilities. The chase goes rather badly for Fantomex who has to watch as everyone around him begins to outperform him which comes at odds with his programmed-in belief that he's the best there is at everything. He goes into his own mind to meet with EVA where she parses out the trouble he's been having and recommends, because it's possible she's not exactly in her right mind right now, that he simply kill anyone who may be better than him in anything.

Story
The story here has to do with the Volga storyline but it has more to do with the story of Fantomex, which is a story well worth diving into right now. Spurrier does a phenomenal job meshing story with character here as Fantomex's journey of self-discovery is inextricably tied to the actual journey they're going on and to the future of this series. It's very strong and it's very interesting and it's getting into some pretty scary territory for the team. 5/5

Character
It's no secret that I love Fantomex but it's hard to argue that he's one of the more complex characters out there today. Even without a long and sweeping history like some of these characters have, his origin and his powers are some of the more hard-to-define powers out there. That wasn't necessarily made easier by the fact this his three brains were split into three different characters and each brain controlled separate powers. Spurrier promised big things out of Fantomex during this series and he's already delivering pretty heavily, immediately diving into his created French accent (he reveals here that he can't speak French) and his built-in superiority complex and everything else. Fantomex physically can't imagine anything bigger and more important than himself and Spurrier is using that to show a man in serious conflict with himself. It's a little heartbreaking and it turns dark very quickly, even amidst a few really funny scenes. 5/5

Writing
The story bounces back and forth between the chase of Anaïs and Fantomex's talk with EVA, meaning that their dialogue carries throughout the entire issue and both narrates what's happened while also explaining its relevance. It doesn't hit you over the head with any of it but it works really well in terms of showing us everything that's happening. It's good writing and the talk with EVA both serves as a useful device to advance the plot and makes for a compelling plot line all its own. Fantomex himself brings up early in their talk that he's been avoiding her because he's not sure what the brain-split has done to EVA and where her loyalties lie. Those questions certainly persist through the issue as she asserts herself and eventually recommends that the sane option would be to make himself the best there is by killing everyone else. The tone of the issue is fantastic, switching between somewhat light-hearted and extremely dark as the issue wraps up. Brilliantly done. 5/5

Art
Jorge Molina taps in for Rock-He Kim on this issue and does an admirable job. I've liked Kim's work a lot but I think putting Molina on the Fantomex-centric issue ends up paying off because the book is a little lighter and a little more kinetic and Molina's more cartoonish style works really well for it. It's not necessarily easy to make Fantomex particularly expressive considering his face-covering mask but Molina puts a lot of emotion in the eyes and it's what we need amidst all the drama going on inside his mind. On top of that, letterer Joe Sabino helps with a lot of expressive type. 5/5

Miscellaneous
Really fun book and another really good issue. While we're on the subject, I re-read X-FORCE 3 last night and BOY that was a good issue. I don't know if I gushed about it enough last time. Spurrier is writing some of the best and most interesting characters out there right now.

Total score: 5/5

All-New X-Men 25, All-New X-Factor 6

All-New X-Men 25
Bendis (w) and Marquez (a) and Ponsor (c) w/ Timm, L. Martin, A. Adams, Mack, Young, J. Keith, R. Rodriguez, Bermejo, Gracia, K. Williams, JG Jones, Del Carmen, J. S. Campbell, Ruffino, Wicks, Shiga, Hipp, Wittert, J. Parker, M. Wilson, J. Thompson, P. Smith, Wiacek, and Bellaire (a and c)

Beast (present day Beast, not Beast of the past in the present) lays in bed being lectured by the Watcher about how his decision to bring the original X-Men to the present was so bad that it's ruined the chance of happiness for mutants ever again. We see a ton of different possible timelines from a slew of guest artists (seen above) with a brief close-up on every one of the original X-Men and see all the bad futures they could have and all the good futures they can't have before Beast asks for help resetting things and Watcher tells him that he's deplorable and that he only watches and can't act.

Okay, so this is a weird little boy-who-cried-wolf situation because I tend to spend a lot of time not enjoying ALL-NEW X-MEN (I spend a lot of time actively not liking it which shows just how sad I am) and then this issue comes out. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like this issue but I dislike it for more reasons than normal and I even don't like it for the message Watcher's sending, although it's the message I've wanted sent since day one. No, what I don't like about this one is the fanfare. It's an oversized issue with what the cover claims is "the greatest artist roster ever assembled." I have no qualms with that claim and the art is pretty impressive throughout (though it takes some questionable turns here and there) but I don't understand why it has such a roster. It's the 25th issue of an X-MEN book. It's not like people are surprised it made it to 25. Even with Marvel's sometimes flagrant renumbering, 25 isn't a huge, huge mark to reach. DEADPOOL celebrates issue 27 this week. THUNDERBOLTS and IRON MAN are both on issue 24 this week and I'd be quite sure neither will pull out all the stops for issue 25. Even a book like X-MEN LEGACY that must have been constantly on the bubble numbers-wise hit 24 before the big 300th issue. Even putting that aside because why should I complain if comics get celebrated every once in a while, this story simply isn't that good. Like, it's a perfectly serviceable story but it feels perfectly serviceable as a .1 or something. It lands between arcs and it gives something of a recap of what's happening to give readers a jumping on point. The story, then, is fine for what it is but let's not act like what it is is something absolutely groundbreaking and worthy of the attention this book wants from everyone. Look. I shouldn't complain, this book has some great art in it (I particularly shouldn't complain because David Mack and Skottie Young each get a page and I adore them both). I just hate fanfare that feels so cynical. And I just flat-out don't like this book.

All-New X-Factor 6
David (w) and Di Giandomenico (a) and Loughridge (c)

The team goes to see Doug Ramsey, AKA Cypher, in the hopes that he'll shed some light on Warlock's current situation. Doug's been having some bad dreams wherein he becomes an incredibly powerful villain and kills all of his friends and he's decided he's going to throw himself off a cliff to prevent it happening. However, X-Factor shows up in time to shake him from that notion though it's still clearly sitting in the back of his mind. Danger scans him and discovers that he has a piece of Warlock tech in him and, despite his protestations, removes it to show it to him. He discovers that it's been sending transmissions about him to Warlock. The team and Doug go to find Warlock and the Magus, following the transmission from the piece of Warlock previously in Doug. When there, they're welcomed by the Magus who reveals that he's just trying to carve out a life for himself in the wake of the destruction of his home planet. The techno-organic virus that had infected him before gave him the ability to break from traditions once held by the Technarchy, meaning that he was able to set aside his enmity for his son and work together with him to promote their race. Now the Magus really is just a businessman trying to live life on Earth. He allows Warlock, who explains that the machinery in Cypher was just to ensure he didn't hurt himself as he'd been thinking of doing, to leave with X-Factor and the two former New Mutants join the team.

The book is coming together more and more and as these two new members join up with the team we can start to see that there are plenty of plot lines waiting to be unraveled. On top of the Quicksilver+the Uncanny Avengers storyline, there are burgeoning details about Cypher, about Danger and Warlock (Warlock quickly falls in love with Danger) on top of the Danger and Gambit weird thing that's happening, about Polaris' mental state, about the whole Serval thing, and even about Harrison Snow's affair with his personal assistant and his newly introduced and troubling wife in this issue. The characters are starting to come alive in their own way now too and it seems like things are really starting to fall into place for this book. Now there are a number of threads to be pulled, all of which could seemingly unravel everything, and still, presumably, plenty of other plots to build on going forward. Peter David lasted as long as he did with a book like the previous X-FACTOR because he write a solid team book and knows how to layer in problems for his characters as well as anyone in the business. They don't always work and sometimes the characters start to sound a little similar but by and large he manages to build a team that has a lot of heart and personality and a story that is barely keeping itself together in the best of ways. That's starting to come through here and ALL-NEW X-FACTOR could be primed for a nice run.

All-New X-Men 21, Uncanny X-Men 16, Amazing X-Men 3

All-New X-Men 21
Bendis (w) and Peterson and B. Anderson w/J. Campbell (a) and Silva (c)

The ANXM have been captured and chained up by the Purifiers who are discussing what they should do with the original X-Men. For the son of Reverend William Stryker, it's a chance to kill these powerful mutants before they ever gain influence, creating a paradox but also ridding the world of a whole ton of mutants. It doesn't make a lot of sense but, good news, it's time for another long lesson in time travel as the Purifiers debate the butterfly effect and how bad it would be if everything changed and paradoxes and so on. Eventually they call in Dr. Monica Rappaccini of AIM to sort things out and she says that the mutants should be released (after they've taken samples from them) because a paradox is "the best thing [killing them] could do." She also is confused by the young X-Men and spends the same amount of time everyone for 21 issues has spent being surprised by the youth of the X-Men. She determines that the Purifiers can kill Kitty Pryde if they want since she wouldn't harm the timeline but, before they can do it, Kitty wakes up and phases out of her chains. She breaks everyone else out and they fight everybody and they all get away. The only kind of lasting damage stuff that happens is that a.) the ANXM know about the Purifiers and AIM, and b.) X-23 has seen that the AVENGERS ARENA footage has gone live to the internet and has jumped into Scott's arms while Jean was watching (because it wouldn't be a Bendis book without a love triangle where two girls fight over one guy, even if that guy is oatmeal).

I did an experiment with this book this issue. In the experiment, I flipped through the pages of the book doing my darndest not to pick up any of the words and just looking at the art to see if I could figure out what was happening without the trouble of all the words. When I eventually went back and read it, I was astounding to find that not only was I pretty close, I had mostly only missed another reiteration of how time travel might work and the shock of finding out these X-Men are young. Guess I should have assumed that was all mentioned here since it comes up in seemingly every issue. It's probably not a fair experiment, there are likely plenty of books where this same experiment would hold mostly true (though I imagine that there would be some bits I'd be a bit more confused by) and it might just be a shining recommendation of the art (which is fine in this book). Still, it kind of begs the question why we have to have just so much dialogue in the book when so little of it is really necessary. Also, the one thing that wasn't over-explained was who this guy is, since the only 616 son of William Stryker I'm aware of is dead. There's one over in the Ultimate Universe (or was, knowing that universe, he's probably dead. I think maybe Rogue killed him?) but Jason is the only one I know here and he died immediately after birth. Unless we're getting ready for retcons! Wooooooooo.

Uncanny X-Men 16
Bendis (w) and Bachalo and Townsend w/Vey, Irwin, and Olazaba (a) and Bachalo (c)

Magneto visits the same pro-mutant rally-area the Uncanny X-Men had visited not so long ago in Michigan to meet with Dazzler and try to find information on the Sentinels SHIELD seems to have. She doesn't so much help him as direct him to Madripoor where, she claims, a mutant seems to be running things. Magneto goes to check it out and sees everyone running around with mutant growth hormone. Eventually he's ushered to the top of what used to be Hydra tower where he meets up with a bunch of old school evil mutants like Blob, Sabretooth, and Silver Samurai. As they talk, Dazzler arrives as well, revealing herself to be Mystique and telling Magneto that this new Madripoor is all for him. It's a place where mutants can hold power and have their own little world. Magneto is disgusted by it, angry that it neither fulfills Xavier's dream of a world with both mutants and humans living together nor fulfills Magneto's dream of mutants rising up to be the dominant species. Instead, it's a pit of an island where MGH is everywhere. He uses Silver Samurai to attack Mystique and controls a horde of bullets to attack the others as he makes his escape on the helicopter, wrecking the building behind him. The issue promises that his adventures will continue in the upcoming MAGNETO series, written by Cullen Bunn.

This is both a one-off issue to set up MAGNETO and, seemingly, an important piece to the UNCANNY X-MEN canon, assuming that it reveals Mystique as Dazzler for good and not as a "oh, Magneto knows but he didn't tell anyone so she goes back to it" kind of deal. In that respect, it's not bad. There are still some obnoxious pieces of dialogue from Mystique (who can never quite decide if she's evil and cold or evil and playfully obnoxious, a problem that isn't held to just this issue) and from background characters here and there. Magneto's done well and it certainly goes a ways to establishing the new series. I typically like Chris Bachalo's art and I don't think it all-out doesn't work here or anything but I will say that I don't think this is him at his best. I think his best, anyway, isn't this sort of story or this sort of seriousness. In a way, his style is a little too cartoony to go with the grim feel of this issue. Hopefully the MAGNETO book carries this momentum and finds itself in a pretty solid place.

Amazing X-Men 3
Aaron (w) and McGuinness and Vines (a) and Gracia (c)

Azazel reveals his plan to the audience in great detail as he, for whatever reason, reiterates it to his shipmates. They listen dutifully as he explains that he's saving them from the tortures of hell, the nothingness of purgatory, and the boredom of heaven so that they can ride with him in a life of piracy and doin' stuff. Some of the bamfs drag a listening Hank McCoy out and drop him overboard to the delight of the pirates. After he claims his way back up, he begins to attack the pirates and Azazel, with whom he has an EXTREMELY long fight-conversation which AGAIN reiterates Azazel's plan and debates the merits of it and of just about everything else Azazel's ever done. Like with THOR: GOD OF THUNDER earlier this week, it also involves a whole bunch of name-checking and little random fact-dropping that feels unnatural and forced, though at least this time it's coming from Hank McCoy who is known for his long-windedness. Eventually Azazel stabs him in the side and throws him overboard again. Before the focus of the issue shifts, we see his hand cling to the side of the boat again. On a nearby Azazel pirate ship, a group of Azazel's pirates talk about what to do with Storm before Nightcrawler shows up and begins to dispatch them. Ororo is extremely pleased to see Nightcrawler and the two pick up arms together and get awfully close to one another. After they've done away with all of the pirates on the ship, they're greeted by none other than a feral Hank McCoy who seems pretty impossible to relax.

I think there's a story here that, while a little over-the-top and fanfic-like, might well be worth telling. What better way to get Nightcrawler back into the world than with a rip-roaring pirate tale that pits father against son and X-Men against pirates? Okay, there may be better ways but this is the one we've got (and for anyone checking, it does indeed seem as if Nightcrawler is back for good as he's getting his own solo title in April, written by none other than legendary X-Men scribe Chris Claremont). Like my complaints with THOR this week, I can't help feeling like this is maybe a little too reader's-first-comic for me. That's fine, I suppose, maybe I'm not the target audience on books like this or WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN. I will say it feels weird if that's true since that's not really Marvel's style but it's hard to argue with the excessive amounts of name-checks and current-plot summarization next to brief Marvel history lessons and the oddly colorful and playful Ed McGuinness art (I felt this way a little on the opening issues of NOVA, too, which found McGuinness on art duties again. I think it's shaped up a bit since then, still having something of a younger vibe but only because Nova is a younger hero, not because it's written for a younger audience). It means that the darker moments don't have any real weight to them and I don't see any stakes just about anywhere. But again, as with anything ever written on this blog because it is a blog about opinions, this is just my opinion and maybe someone else out there is far less snooty about it.