X-Men Battle of the Atom 1, All-New X-Men 16

X-Men Battle of the Atom 1
Bendis (w) and Cho w/ Immonen and von Grawbadger (a) and Gracia (c)

Eagle-eyed readers will notice that I've been a bit wary about events of late. I've tried to maintain that an event, by its nature, isn't a bad thing as long as there's a story worth telling. Marvel has worked for a long time to make a universe that is interconnected so it stands to reason that we should, occasionally, have stories that involve the entire universe. As long as they're good stories. Meanwhile, the future X-Men have shown up to tell the present X-Men to send the past X-Men back home or else we'll get a dystopian future that screams of both Age of Ultron and Days of Future Past. Let's start from the beginning. By which I mean with pages of recap of what's happening. Nevermind, let's not start with that, except to say that the first page shows Illyana jumping into the future to see what becomes of the X-Men (because traveling through time and space is only ripping apart the universe when it's convenient for a story. BENDIS, you wrote Age of Ultron, these are your rules) in a scene that is reminiscent to the opening scenes of Age of Ultron and many scenes in Days of Future Past. Things are going badly and she writes a letter to Scott Summers to sum up what he already knows and that's our lazy, lazy introduction. Anyway, Kitty and her team of All-New X-Men go to identify and either help or bring down a new mutant with dangerous powers in Arizona. Pretty quickly upon their arrival, a score of Sentinels attack followed by the appearance of Cyclops' team, presumably monitoring Sentinel activity. There's the usual Bendis banter and the two teams combined manage to bring down the Sentinels (suddenly, again when it's convenient, Kitty is happy to see Scott; not just in a "we could really use help" way, in a way that seems like "gee how we've all missed you!"). One Sentinel shoots young Scott, knocking him to the edge of death. Old Cyclops disappears until Triage, Cyclops' new mutant healer, saves Scott. Cyclops blips back into existence and everyone goes home. The present-day X-Men vote to send the past X-Men home (finally) when they're interrupted by the X-Men of the future appearing among them.

I feel like if someone were to write a parody of All-New X-Men, it would read a little like this. Actually, it would read almost entirely like this. "The future X-Men have shown up to tell the present X-Men to send the past X-Men back home" is a sentence I actually wrote up there and no one finds that ridiculous? I wasn't thrilled with the opening, loaded with exposition and summation, but I started to try to accept this book even as it started feeling like every other event it could get its hands on. When they voted to send the original X-Men home, I was like "duh, finally." (why it took someone almost dying to realize implications of time travel in a world that has had Back to the Future for over 25 years now is beyond me) Then the future X-Men showed up and I switched off again. Is there a way to make this event interesting and not hacky again? I don't know. Maybe. I sure don't know what it is though. And chapter two of the event, reviewed next, certainly doesn't help things (spoilers).

All-New X-Men 16
Bendis (w) and Immonen and von Grawbadger (a) and Gracia (c)

The future X-Men chat with the present X-Men about sending the past X-Men home (ug, had to write it again) and explain that not sending them home would be a giant mistake, wondering why they haven't done it already. The future X-Men team has older versions of Kitty, Beast, Iceman, Deadpool, and Runaway Molly Hayes, as well as a younger man claiming to be Xavier's grandson (named Xavier) and someone costumed as Xorn, former X-Men teammate and eventual betrayer and killer of Jean Grey. All the basic jokes come out ("I look like that in the future?") before young Jean panics, unable to read the newcomers' minds, and creates a situation wherein chaos ensues and she and young Scott run away. Back at the school, they all talk some more and Xorn reveals herself to be, in fact, Jean Grey, because of course she is. Everyone wonders why young Jean and Scott ran off and Xavier and Jean reveal that it's because they were guarding their thoughts, which makes Wolverine as suspicious as Jean had been. The reveal of Jean as Xorn, though, is where we leave off, seeing as well that young Jean and Scott have beached themselves somewhere removed after Jean reveals that she can't go home because she's afraid her new psychic powers will fight back against their Xavier if he tries to wipe their minds.

Imagine a Sherlock Holmes story where Sherlock leads the police from a recently murdered corpse through a house, following bloody footsteps, to a man holding a bloody knife and a gun (he used the knife, the gun is a clever red herring) talking to himself about the murder he just committed and, upon seeing this, the police yell "By Jove, Holmes, I don't know how but you've done it again!" That's what this kind of feels like. Everyone is suddenly incredibly stupid and we're supposed to accept this as a story because everyone is equally stupid so the tension is exactly the same as it would be if everyone was incredibly intelligent. Here, the biggest idiotic thing we're forced to accept as clever is Jean's panic over the fact that the future X-Men are guarding their minds. You might be able to pass it off as simply an excuse she used to run away before she was sent home but then even Wolverine, when he finds out the future X-Men are guarding their minds, says "Now why would you go and do a thing like that?" This is after nearly FIFTEEN ISSUES of people telling Jean that she shouldn't be reading other people's thoughts without their permission. People are constantly guarding their thoughts from psychics in the Marvel Universe because, if they didn't, there would be no ambiguity. So yes, there is ambiguity of people merely mention that thoughts are being blocked but to use it as a full-on plot device is so stupid. I would talk about more but there really isn't much more. There's one scene where the present X-Men talk to the future X-Men (making jokes and exposition) and then that scene is replayed as the backdrop to Jean trying to convince first Henry, who won't bite, to run away with her and then Scott, who instantly agrees. I BETTER GET NIGHTCRAWLER BACK OUT OF THIS STORY.